I wear a hat tin foil hat with a wide brim, so I understand where you are coming from, but I don't think you should take it personally (my parents will probably die never knowing what a browser is, and they simply need help). Just use Chromium with certain modifications to remove all ~tracking related functions, and then add 'noscript', 'ghostery', 'better privacy' and/or other extensions to remove the more intrusive parts of the web (it's the best we can do right now, and no one party is acting significantly more intrusive).